The calligraphy class last night was kinda a farewell gathering. We did not get down to do any practices.... there's only the remaining 3 of us as most of the other students had dropped out during the last few months.

Old uncle Mr Loo had to take a break now as he had just under-went an eye ops. The other lady from China, Mdm Li had dropped by with her daughter. She had intended to rejoin our class as she felt the atmosphere is better here. Too bad that we would be putting the class on hold for now. Anyway, we will leave our names to pre-register and hopefully when there are sufficient students, the class can start again. Well, we exchanged contacts and most likely will arrange to gather for an afternoon tea some time.

After some 6 mths of learning, here is how I have progressed.... and, I guess I would still have to keep on practicing.

Just some thoughts....

This recent episode of uncertainty over my health has its good. At least, it sets me thinking. In which areas?

First - how much I appreciated my family. I had stayed over at my mum's place for some 2 weeks during the times when I felt real bad. It's during those days that I really really felt the closeness and importance of family. Who else would be there for you beside them?

Second - how much I regretted those past years when I was so caught up with work and my own personal life that I neglected my family, my mum. Where was I when my mum felt sick at home? Where was I when my mum herself faced the uncertainty in her health? Its a regret that I will never be able to make up.

Third - while personal time and space is treasured, but I guess I will have to forego some of these. I decided to let out one of my room now so that at least there is someone else around the house. Of course there's the monetary benefit to it, but that's not the main issue. The new tenant would be moving in by 1 Jun. A young man, from Shanghai and working in one of the logistic company. Hope this would be good company.

Fourth - having been so caught up with worklife in the past years, many of my old friends had sort of drifted apart. I guess it's time to link up and bond again these precious people who had once shared my life.

Fifth - perhaps it's time to reassess my life goals and directions. The evening study is getting more and more interesting, and my volunteering hours for the 2 afternoons are satisfying. But I guess I am still having too much of free time now?

Sixth - looking back, I know I did not have the strong enough faith to say that I trusted God totally. It was easy to praise God and have faith when things goes well. But, despite the years of sitting under the good teaching of pastor, who had helped me to build up much faith in God, I would say that it's not easy when you see and felt the symptoms in your body. I am glad, that at the end of it all, the Lord is still my God.

Well, there are some things I had purposed to do right now:

• whenever possible, to go to my mum's place for dinner and occasionally stay over. It's also quite some time since I last had time with the few nieces and nephews. Wonder when they would next visit at my mum's place.
• start contacting and corresponding with those precious friends that I would want to cherish.
• be more active in joining some activity groups and make more friends. The group of weekend cyclists at the park connector had been bugging me to get a cycle and join them. Well, maybe I might do that.

These are simple enough things to start with..... :)

Gladness of heart!

It was such a beautiful morning today. And feeling well enough, I thought I had better go get some exercise. It's almost 2 mths since I last done that. This last 2 mths was a roller coaster ride for me, health wise as well as my faith in God. But all praises to His wonderful name! I know I am definitely on the mend now. The blood pressure is a stable average of 120/80 now, though it did fluctuate a little, now and then. I will have to monitor it for another week or so. I believe, as God had always restored, that my restoration would be more than a 100-fold. I look forward to the day when I can declare that I am healthier and better than before.


Didn't want to over-exert myself, I took a slow walk down the familiar park connector. Meet some of the regular folks there. One of them, Patricia did agree that that can of 'whatever-had-happened-to-it' fruit cocktail is definitely the main culprit. The toxin is likely be acting up against my body. She mentioned that one of her friend was sick for a whole 9 mths after he swam in the polluted waters off HK in order to make some repairs to his boat. I am glad that this episode is definitely teaching me many valuable lessons.


On the way back, I passed by the old place where I used to live. The flats are all demolished now. The plot of land looked so empty. No, I am not being sentimental. After all, I stayed only about 6 years in the area and there is really not much attachment to it. Went up to one of the neighbouring flat to get a view..... wonder what are they going to do with the plot of land. It's such a large area!


Okay, time of church service now. How glad am I, to be going to the house of the Lord!

The amazing grace of God

I see Grace

Jesus my help,
I call on Your name!
I cast my cares on You.

Jesus my hope,
My tower of strength!
My faith is found in You.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross, I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice.
I see love reaching for me.
Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies.
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

Bearer of sin,
Afflicted and tried!
You paid redemption's price.

Bearing my curse,
You've set me on high!
Your death has brought me life.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice!
I see love reaching for me.

Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies.
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

Recovery!

It was an affirmation to the remma word of God on Sunday. I could feel the recovery proccess taking place the last 2 days. The amplified heartbeat and breathlessness is no more as I go about my daily activities. The set of BP readings taken over the last 3 days averaged 125/84. This looks remarkable as I used to averaged slightly higher than this.

Looking back, I guess there were various factors that affected my health over the past month. That can of 'what-ever-had-happened-to-it' fruit cocktail definitely is one of the main contributing factor. Coupled by the sore-throat and flu symptoms, it sure took a long time for me to 'flush' out the undesirable stuff that's affecting me bodily. Now that I am on the road to recovery, I guess will be extra conscientious on maintaining my health and well-being.

This episode is really an awakening event and gives me a first hand experience of what it means to be robbed of my health. I am also glad that it gives me a chance once again to experience the love and provision of God in my life.

All praises to Him......

the bread of life.....

It was a remma word of God that I received gladly yesterday, during Pastor's message.

1 Pet 2:24 - Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

Yes, Pastor had specifically called out my healing - by His strip, our heart disease is healed, by His strip, our high blood pressure is healed.

Isn't God wonderful?

And Pastor taught once again the importance of the Lord's supper. The bread and the wine. Make distinction between the bread and the wine. The bread is the Lord's broken body, broken for us that we may receive his healing, while the wine is the new covenant, in His blood, which was shed for the forgiveness of our sins.

Isaiah 53:4 - Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Matt 8:16,17 - Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.

John 6:49-59 - unless you chew my flesh and drink my blood.....

How timely is God's message. I believe in God for my healing.

30-folds, 60-folds and a 100-folds.

It was somewhat worrying for the past week. Despite my symptoms, the doctor had not prescibed any medication. I was really perplexed as to what is the cause of the faster than usual heartbeat.

Feeling rather breathless again on Wed morning, I decided to drop by the neighbourhood clinic again. The BP measurement was a high of 160/100. The doctor on duty decided to give me medication for high-blood pressure. Half a tablet to be taken daily. Now I am really worried. Would it be medication for life from now on? Well, he said to review again in a month's time.

The three days that followed were a blurr. I was feeling lethargy for greater part of the day. Decided to spend the nights at my mum's place as a precaution. The BP reading dropped drastically to 99/65 on occasions. The breathlessness continued, but was it due to the medication? I find it even tiring to walk the distance to the MRT station!

Decided to stop the medication on Friday morning and see the doctor again. Well, he agreed that I should stop it for a week and monitor to see if the BP continues to climb. Perhaps a quarter of a tablet might do. I prefer not at all.

Second day now, without the medication. Generally, I seems to be getting better. The BP reading is now about 110/76 and climbing (I better monitor the reading carefully). The breathlessness does not occur so often and the discomfort seems somewhat related to stomach gases. Was it actually gastric related? I don't know. But I believe I am on the mend now. A 30-folds, the 60-folds improvement.... to a 100-folds recovery.

It's a battle of faith now. But really, I have so little faith. But let me rely on the author and finisher of my faith - Jesus. His words for us is always, "fear not".

A roller coaster ride

The past 2 weeks was like a roller coaster ride. Really don't know how I managed, but I got my blood test done on 25 Apr, one week after that earlier visit to the doctor.

The second visit to the polyclinic on 3 May was a bad experience. She was a trainee lady doctor, under supervision by one of the more senior doctor. It was more of a messed up consultation, but anyway, the conclusion was that my blood pressure is still high, 160/100, while the blood test results shows I have borderline high cholesterol level. I should have asked for a printed report. She asked me to go on diet but without explaining what is a suitable diet. Suppose to have another blood test in 3-4 mths time.... isn't that a bit too long time away? The senior doctor said no medication is required now. Sigh~ I went away not feeling any better or assured on what was my ailment.

By chance, one of my friend who is into this health supplement marketing thingie arranged for a meeting. Decided to do another cholesterol test with them. The reading was a high total of 223 with 39/173 HDL vs LDL. Well, I guess I definitely will need to work on reducing the high cholesterol level. Signed up for their 90 day money back program. It should do me good, nevermind the breathlessness I feel now or the high blood pressure readings. I will get a clearer picture in 2 mths time.

The breathlessness went away, and came back, and strangely seems to appear without cause. But it appears to get better. And somehow, I seems to get very tired. I am quite sure it was because of that bad can of fruit cocktail. Could it be the symptom that my body is fighting hard with the virus/germs that is still remaining? But it's more than 3 weeks since that stupid mistake of eating that cup of "whatever-had-happened-to-it-fruitcocktail". Perplexed!

And my spiritual faith is really taking a roller coaster ride. When it comes down to facing the battle all alone in the dark of the night, it really calls on a strong and unwavering faith. I guess it's a spiritual battle that had left me with scars. Will I emerge stronger in my faith and trust in God?

Pastor's message exhort us to have a change of our mindset, to have a sound mind that focuses on the Peace and Faith that Jesus gave us. Hope, a confidence expectation of good. Jesus' redemption of us starts at the garden when he sweats drops of blood from his head. He also bore for us a crown of thorns, redeeming us from the curse of the fall, and he was crucified at Calvary, or Golgotha, a skull of deadly thoughts.

He also reminded us of that God gives us sufficient grace for the day, not for tomorrow or next week. Yes, His grace is sufficient to see me through today, one day at a time.

I will rest in Him.